Originally posted on MySpace on June 22, 2007.In my passionate pursuit of amassing the best collection of Five For Fighting memorabilia ever, I've obtained a lot of posters. Record company promotional posters, concert flyers and festival art are pretty standard. And, like most of the things I have, I got them on eBay. In the fall of last year, two items of humongous proportions took up residence in my home.
The first, a 3 ft by 3 ft Battle For Everything promotional poster, featuring the album's cover art. I put in a bid on eBay, and won it without opposition. Strangely enough, I ended up paying more for the shipping than for the item itself. I took the poster to Michael's Arts and Crafts Store to have it framed. They were having one of their 50% off custom framing sales...I love those! I saved myself $50 by opting to have the poster...which was already mounted on a cardboard backing...laminated rather than covered with glass.
About a month later, an even bigger poster made its appearance on eBay. This one was produced to promote John's recently released Two Lights album. The poster featured the CD cover photo, but much larger than my previous acquisition...4 ft by 4 ft! The auction was part of MTV Canada, benefiting a Toronto charity. In addition to the poster, which was signed by John Ondrasik, the package included three Five For Fighting CDs. Five days later, my poster arrived in a gigantic shipping box. Like the Battle poster, it was also pre-mounted on sturdy cardboard.
The next day, I went to Michael's to pick up my Battle poster...very nice! As I carefully loaded it into my Blazer, I saw that it fit inside OK, but it made me wonder what would happen with the much bigger Two Lights poster. Little did I know that would be the least of my problems. I noticed that Michael's was having another 50% off framing sale, and told the gal working there I would be back with another poster. When I got home, I managed to get the Two Lights poster inside my SUV, which was a relief, but the real test would come when the poster was in a frame.
Back at Michael's, I was told that because the poster was signed, it couldn't be laminated. And, being it was so large, they didn't have any glass big enough to cover it. I could have had the poster framed without anything to protect it, but I nixed that, considering it was something pretty special. The gal working there suggested I contact a local glass company and have them cut a piece of Plexiglas to size. I decided to do that, and left the poster there while I made some phone calls. I found two places that could supply me with the Plexiglas, and went with the cheaper one. The following week, I picked up my Plexiglas, cut to the dimensions of my poster, and dropped it off at Michael's. Everything seemed fine and dandy...or, so I thought.
Well, about a week later, I got home from work and found a message on my answering machine. It's a lady calling from Michael's, telling me that my Plexiglas was 1/4 inch too big! Now, with those custom framing jobs, it has to be exact because the frame pieces are made to size, too. I called her back, and she informed me she was unable to trim the Plexiglas that close, but suggested I take it back to the glass company and have them do it. I contacted the glass company, and they reassured me that if they couldn't trim the Plexiglas, they would cut me a new piece.
Now, it was really windy that day, and as I pulled into the Michael's parking lot and got out of my Blazer, I actually thought that it might be a challenge to get that big piece of Plexiglas back to my car. It's simple physics...a strong wind, a big, flat object, wind catches object...you get the picture. The lady in the framing department thoughtfully wrapped my Plexiglas in cardboard to help protect it. I briefly considered asking for help getting it to the car, but since I could carry it OK, I decided against it. I really should have listened to my little voice. As I exited the store, I could already feel the wind pushing against my cardboard package. I tried to compensate by turning the cardboard perpendicular to the wind...too late! A big gust yanked the cardboard bundle out of my hands, and I watched helplessly as it glided just above the pavement for several feet before hitting a curb. After retrieving the package, I managed to get it to the Blazer, fighting the wind the whole way. I immediately opened it up, hoping luck would be with me...but, it wasn't to be. The corner that hit the curb had a 2 inch by 3 inch chunk broken off. Damn! That eliminated any chance of using that piece of Plexiglas for my poster!
Feeling a bit depressed, I drove to the glass place, and explained what happened. The gal working there measured the Plexiglas, and to my surprise, it was only 1/16th inch off on one side. She recommended that I call Michael's and ask them to measure the poster. When the lady in the framing department did that, she found the poster was 48 inches by 47 3/4 inches! So, the poster wasn't exactly 4 ft by 4 ft after all! Now, I didn't expect that! I was now left with a damaged piece of Plexiglas of the wrong size, which the glass company couldn't use because it didn't have its protective paper covering it anymore. Fortunately, the company offered to sell me another piece of Plexiglas at a discount, and they were able to cut it for me that same day. I would keep the damaged piece for a future framing job. When my Plexiglas was ready, I delivered it to Michael's. By then, the wind had died down, and I made it into the store without incident. The frame lady measured the Plexiglas, and it was perfect...whew!
On the day I was to pick up my framed poster, it was overcast and drizzling lightly on and off. In the event that the frame didn't fit inside my SUV and I had to carry it on the roof, I decided to take with me a tarp, cardboard, bubble wrap and rope. When I got to Michael's I got a look at my poster...beautiful! It wasn't raining as I carried it to the Blazer, and holding my breath, attempted to load it inside. I had to tilt it diagonally, but to my tremendous relief, I got it in. As soon as I got home, I went to work mounting both of my huge posters on the wall. The Battle poster went up easily, but the Two Lights one was a little trickier. It weighed 18 pounds...yeah, I weighed it! With the help of a couple of boxes propped on the back of my sofa, I got it up on the wall.
Now, it looks like I have John Ondrasik sitting in my living room...the image of him on the Two Lights poster is so true-to-life and is pretty much full size. So, now you're wondering if I talk to him? Well...maybe...sometimes.
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